The only way out is through.....

I'm five days past treatment and the side effects have come to play. It took three days but I kicked the mouth sores to the curb with the Ny-asty, so right now I just have random aches and pains. That's normal and it basically feels like having the flu.

A week after treatment #2, before the heartburn and lower abdomen pain sucker punched me, my left shoulder began aching out of the blue. It started at 8pm one night and lasted about 24 hours. Everyone in the family took turns massaging my left shoulder and arm.

Now, after treatment #3, my right elbow and wrist feel really out of whack. It's not so much an ache this time; it's more of a shooting pain sensation in my joints. This 'open door policy' of side effects coming and going is pretty bizarre.

All in all I'm very thankful thus far because this week seems to be about the smoothest yet. No real fatigue and no stomach problems yet! I will let myself breathe a sigh of relief in the next few days if this continues. I'm uncomfortable but I'm not doubled over and I haven't seen the inside of any ER.

Noah turned 2 years old and became a different child. It's like his vocabulary doubled overnight. He's been putting very short sentences together (and by short I mean 2 words) but all of a sudden he's comprehending and speaking so much clearer. He adores his big sisters, and when each were out of the room at one point this week he held his little hands palms up at his shoulders and asked "Mommy, where are my sissys??"

He loves playing catch and when I missed his 'throw' this week he said "Mommy can't catch." So fun to be called out by a 2 year old.

My hair has stopped coming out in clumps. I'm still shedding, but not as heavily. My educated guesstimate would be that I have about 40 to 50% of my original hair. I still pretty much wear it normal; I just use a thick headband to disguise all the missing patches in front. I think it works splendidly, but Daniel is always rearranging hair on the back of my head. Apparently it's pretty thin, and I can certainly tell by touch but I never really look back there. Why should I? I can't see it...and if somebody else doesn't like it then they don't have to look either. :)

I'm thankful that so far I have pretty much all my eyebrows and eyelashes (did you think of that when I began talking about hair loss a month ago?) Hopefully they'll just hang with me so I don't look sicker than I may even feel some days! As I predicted...hair on my legs? Still growing.

Today I had the sunroof open in the Jeep at a red light when I noticed everyone... CHILDREN AND ADULTS... staring at me. I wondered if my head looked like a shiny crystal ball with the sun bouncing off it or something. Then I realized I should probably put some sun block on the patchy areas, huh? My first inclination was to make a rude gesture, but I would never do that. I just waved at Mr., Mrs., Jr. and Princess Gawker as if we were old buddies.

Another thing I'm thankful for is the one or two lymphoma discussion boards I've joined. My doctor is doing a great job, but HE'S NEVER HAD CANCER. :) It's so nice to hear some of the freaky things I'm experiencing from lymphoma are sometimes actually pretty common, whether they are published in a medical journal or not. Having new friends that can make recommendations on some of these things is such a blessing.

We're forever telling our girls "There are no shortcuts..." on homework, chores.. anything in the moment. Do the job thoroughly and you'll be proud of it later. The same applies to me; and as a cancer survivor friend stated... the only way out is through.

The girls won't be with us for Easter but I'm glad they will have a nice holiday at their mom's house. Noah has a little suit so we'll see if he keeps it on. Pictures to come.