Scanxiety

Full blown scanxiety has set in this weekend. I don't mind being poked, prodded, pinched and put through all the testing again- but having to wait for the results is going to be excruciating.

I know the odds are on my side that it is still gone. 3 out of 4 people stay in remission for 5+ years (That's the definition of a 'survivor' by the way- the 5 year mark. Meaning, a person can stay clean for 5 years, relapse in the 6th year but still be considered a survivor in the statistics. Not good.)

3 out of 4 people. So I'm staying as positive as possible and then I picture 3 people standing in a row with me- and one of is uh.... doesn't make it??

A friend recently directed my attention to an 'inspirational' blog of a man that battled Hodgkin's 4 times in a 10 year time frame. He's written a book on his experience. Glancing through the blog I suddenly realized his wife had JUST updated it to reflect this man's passing and memorial dates/times. The blog is still titled 'this time's the charm.' Ugghhh.

My friend did not realize his wife had updated the site with this information, and she apologized profusely when I asked her how this was inspirational???? It was a rough couple of days.

The odds are on my side. Odds are on my side. God is on my side. God is on my side.

Prayers welcome this week!