In the red corner, weighing (none of your business)...Cathy! In the blue corner, attempting to dominate nodes and organs...Cancer! Chemo Round One

Before my chemo session I had a consultation with the radiation people that I rescheduled from last week. I was on information overload and since I won't be enduring radiation for at least four months, I thought it could wait. I have all the respect in the world for doctors and their recommendations but sometimes you just have to do what's right for you. I rescheduled the session for the same day as chemo to save myself multiple trips, and possibly a copay if I was visiting the office once...for two procedures/meetings. The receptionist didn't charge me at all but I think she just forgot.

The radiation chic and I discussed my upcoming radiation. This will begin once chemotherapy is complete; again the confusion around why I have to learn about this now with so much other information floating around in my head. Basically she discussed what to expect and the plethora of side effects I may experience- from a continual sun burned glow in the radiated areas (at least it will be June) to extreme fatigue. They will keep the radiation above my diaphragm and focused on my 'mantle,' both sides of my neck and my chest where the cancer resides.

She spoke quite a bit about my increased risks for breast cancer and lung cancer in the future because of the radiation. That wasn't fun to hear. I already knew my treatment was being split between chemo and radiation to try and lower adverse future reactions (different cancers and diseases) from each.

It's confusing, but this means: If my treatment was completely chemotherapy, I'd have a lengthy set of predispositions to bad stuff, and various diseases. If my treatment was completely radiation, I'd have a lengthy set of predispositions to other bad stuff and diseases. Essentially by treating me with half of each- now I'm exposed to aaaalllll the bad stuff, but not as severely as if they did straight chemo or straight radiation. Whew! That's a good thing. Yeah, that's right- it's a good thing that I get both. Remind me of that by this afternoon when it gets confusing again and I'm convinced every organ in my body is put in a compromising position. As far as medicine has advanced, they just don't have all the answers.

The Dr.- did I mention her name? If I did I need to go back and take it out because this is what I have to say. The hag (I mean that as politely as possible) called me overweight. Yeah, overweight. At first I wanted to say "I'm not fat, you're fat." But my inner kindergartener composed herself. Here I was trying to focus on all these cancers I'm so susceptible to and all that keeps racing through my mind is "These pants are a size 12 witchy woman. That is an average size for an American woman. If we believe all that Oprah preaches to us, the average American woman is a size 14. I cannot help that you are a size 2 and flaunt it in your little white medical coat, but I am not. Are you afraid I'm not going to fit into the radiation machine? Is that what this is about? How big is Oprah? I bet you'd shove her into that machine! Should I be dieting WHILE enduring chemo, the side effects...and battling cancer?? Really woman. Eat a Big Mac once in a while."

I'm all for hearing the truth and yes, I have a gut and was even having a blast working out at my family's favorite gym regularly before all of this. But how this effected my Radiation 101 consult I still do not understand.

If by chance you've kept count, I've seen at least seven or eight doctors by now. Every one of them has weighed me and not one categorized me as overweight. I don't mind any information given to me if it is medically accurate- it was just a bit strange coming from the radiation lady! Primary doctor, oncologist even- fine. Ok, enough rambling on that. Summing this up she and I did not get off on the right foot but I'm a big girl (bad choice of words) and I'm past it now. Really.

Now, on to what's important- the fight!

Treatment- it was pretty uneventful. The room is filled with recliners and I picked one. I sat down and they hooked everything up through my port and off we went. Again, my mixture is ABVD (Adriamycin ,Bleomycin ,Viznblastine and Dacarbazine)

In the beginning we were told to be wary of people saying things like "Chemo sucks!" or "Oh, chemo? You're going to hate it! The side effects are horrible... it makes you a zombie and it's downright painful!" Etc, etc, etc. There are thousands of drugs used in chemotherapy and most everyone has their own combination, so it's not wise to rely on the testaments of others. ABVD is a fairly standard first step for Hodgkin's Lymphoma, but every type of cancer has their own concoction. It would be like comparing Reese's Peanut Butter Cups to Smarties because they are both candy. And we all know Reese's would kick butt every time. :) I've already bought a couple of the Reese's Easter Eggs- the thick ones...yummm. Ok maybe the radiation 'hag' as I (so rudely) called her has a point.

Anyway three of my four drugs are administered with a nurse sitting by me, so I really don't have as much down time as I was expecting. They 'push' (a very posh, cliquey term in the world of chemo) the drug through the tubes leading to my port. Some push slower, some push faster, but I don't feel much of it. One of the drugs makes me pee red. I'm very glad they warned me about that. The first three drugs take about 1.5 hours all together. My last drug is a drip that they hang on the IV stand and that takes up about the last 1.5 hours of treatment.

There are some crabby old people in there, I'll tell you. I can't blame them but goodness. I was the youngest by at least 30+ years and was told to expect that at most every visit. It was nice and quiet in the beginning but then they starting rolling... or walker-ing.... in. The hard candy provided wasn't good enough, the four nurses tending to us weren't fast enough, the weather was making their hip ailments worse- you name it. The nurses there are so sweet I can't imagine scolding them like that.

So all in all the session went fine. I sat there for 3 or so hours and got all my medicine. I pictured it creeping through my veins, sneaking up and ATTACKING that yucky cancer- Ka-BAM!!! I was tired when I got home so I rested. I was also pretty nauseous so I took 'on the spot' medicine Compazine (they pump anti-nausea meds through the IV, and I now take EMEND the three days around chemo at $75 for three pills- so that is three medicines for nausea) and it has worked well so far.

Chemotherapy is cumulative (no, I'm not talking about a GPA) meaning the effects add up in your system the further along you get. So, I'm happy I reacted fairly well to yesterday's session but I realize the side effects can get heftier as I get more sessions under my belt. We'll just have to wait and see!

Oh, lastly I was going to post a picture of the port area without all the weird tubes, but it's so bruised and gross looking I don't want to put you through that. The following is not for those with weak stomach's- - - - At one point the day after it was placed I felt liquid underneath all the taping and knew that couldn't be good. I called the surgeon and he said as long as it was clear, I was ok. When I went to chemo yesterday and all that bondage was removed the nurses were surprised I was handling the pain so well. The clear tape the surgeon had used to hold everything in had not let my skin breathe for 2.5 days- therefore I have a huge circle of blisters allll around the edges where the tape had been. It was pretty itchy and painful but I just thought it was supposed to feel like that. Apparently not. It looks pretty gnarly right now too, but as with everything else, it will heal. :)

A big thank you to the person that read my Target blog and sent me a Target gift certificate Ecard as a gift. Thank you, also, for the online gift cards to pizza delivery places for when I feel sick. Not at all necessary, but very nice of you. And then you got me thinking- maybe I should link this blog to a paypal account like on Julie & Julia when she had people giving her money for all the lobsters she was cooking and writing about. Hehe. That's outrageous. You all know I would never, ever do that- but thanks again for the cards and offers of help. If I have your phone number you may be hearing from me in the future!